My Sarcastic Bodyguard
by TheCrazyGhostLady
Summary: Katherine was just a nostalgic young woman with a childish personality. So...what is she to do when she is dumped carelessly into another world she didn't expect or comprehend ever being a part of? And how do the Decepticons fit into her new agenda? (OC x ?)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers franchise. I only own my OC's!**

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 **Chapter 1** : **Nice Kitty**

 _My life was okay. It was predictable, but in a good way. As long as I wasn't an idiot and didn't do something that would lead to an undesired consequence, provided I DIDN'T know what the outcome would be. I didn't need to make a schedule, I was certainly no planner. Didn't need to be, my life was nearly a perfect pattern:_

 _Get up._

 _Go to school._

 _Get home from school._

 _And do a bunch of miscellaneous activities until dinner time. After dinner time? More miscellaneous things such as surf the internet, draw, listen to music, etc._

 _Yeah, real exciting right? Yes, that was rhetorical. Yes, I can be 'smartass' with a potent blend of 'jerk'. No, I'm not bitter, so don't expect a sobbing rant regarding my life's choices…it's just how I am, at least one-fifth of the time anyway. The rest, I am very friendly, and not in that possessive/obsessive way, just enough for people to feel comfortable in confiding in me._

 _I suppose that sounded a little creepy but oh well, moving on._

 _My name is Katherine Parks and I'm probably one of the most boring people you'll know (and maybe the most cliché). In terms of social life that is, as you've probably gathered so far. And so when I had my days where I would get tired of reality (or people) I'd read or watch cartoons/anime to ease my mind. It seemed like a rational decision for a young adult so I had no shame in indulging in multiple lands of fantasy and/or science fiction. Even if the series wasn't that good, I'd still find something to love about it –or someone. I was just sentimental like that, especially when it came to shows I watched when I was a young girl…just call me nostalgic. You're probably wondering how this 'fascinating' little tidbit of my life would pertain to the story and this is the part where I tell you: because such detail has relevance to the freaky shit that went down on THAT particular night._

 _That night being many moons ago (insert ominous tone)…_

I sighed loudly and turned off my laptop. After that I made a beeline over to my dresser in anticipation of getting dressed into sleepwear. It was another regular day for me, going to school and whatnot, so I decided to add some variety to my day by going for a walk…in fall…with a dress…yeah, imagine how long that lasted. I had a jacket on, but it did little against the cold (I had cursed my pale Irish complexion and its' inability to retain heat). So eventually I went inside to watch random stuff on my laptop to my heart's content, mainly cheesy cartoons and anime. The last few episodes, to finish my random watch spree, belonged to one of the series I watched in my childhood, that series being Transformers Energon.

I chuckled as I remembered one scene, my shoulders beginning to shrug off my jacket. But I paused just as I was about to strip when a sudden draft set in the room. _Now how the hell –did I leave a window open?!_ I forgot all about getting dressed as a light gust of wind brushed past my legs. Curious, I followed it, and yes I was very skeptical, to find that it picked up speed around the corner that led to the stairs. The source I couldn't see right away, but whatever it was, it was sucking me toward it. I squinted at the darkness in front of me, still very much curious. I considered myself to be the kind of person whom –if she was curious enough, would seek strange anomalies and find out what they were exactly. However, the anomaly was _so strange_ I found myself wanting to back up. Of course my body had other plans, and instead of me backing away from, I swiftly lunged towards what I so very much wanted to stay away from. I just barely managed to gain _some_ self control long enough to actually see the dark vortex before getting sucked in. That same self control trying to be maintained as I flailed airborne, for a full couple of seconds –or maybe more, before I landed with an impact strong enough to knock the wind out of me.

I let out a pathetic groan, "it's okay, it's only your ribs and the squishy things underneath them, those are called internal organs and they're not important at all _"_ I sarcastically berated myself as I slowly got up onto my feet. I was not happy, and it didn't help that it was _raining_. It wasn't just a drizzle. No, it _had_ to be a downpour that drenched me within a minute.

"Ahhh, damn it all-eaaahp!" the ground shook and sent me falling onto my behind, adding to the severe discomfort/pain I was in from falling through the space/time rip. It was also there that I finally realized that the ground was _metal_. Using that as a wake-up call to really check my surroundings my eyes panned from one strange sight to another:

 _Everything is metal as far as the horizon goes_

 _There are also metal towers_

I winced

 _And there are_ ** _red lasers_** _crisscrossing across the sky –and why does everything look so...cartoon-y?! This ain't NORMAL!_

Unfortunately, as I was so engrossed with the pretty lights for who knows how long, I failed to notice a large group of menacing beings approach me until I heard them growling. My eyes immediately fixed on the intense yellow gaze of a giant _robotic_ feline, as well as his buddies too. Behind them, masses upon masses of their kin were running away while being airlifted by giant _robotic_ birds. I couldn't help but have thought: _Why universe hate me?_ More growling and the cats got closer, yet it was strangely **not** aggressive. They seemed…curious, which was absolutely fine by me. "uuuhmmm, nice kitties?" I was even sure to reach a hand out (smart right?) toward the closest one. And what did he do? I'll give you a hint: he _didn't_ bite my hand off. The smooth metal muzzle gently brushed against my fingertips and he growled some more and started… _purring_. Whilst I was petting him, I couldn't help but think that the landscape and cats I was seeing were a part of something familiar. It was definitely something I pondered deeply about, well, before an obnoxious loud bang sounded and my ears and eyes succumbed to ringing and infinite white that is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Transformers.**

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 **Chapter 2** : **Open Fire! / Ripped Up Space**

"Don't treat me like a fool Megatron!" was the first and rather unpleasant thing I heard upon waking up from a dreamless and pleasant nap. Opening my eyes I realized I was on my side, on the _floor,_ with a damn good view of the three HUGE robots in front of me. I didn't dare stir as the robots resumed their bickering, all while the smallest one with wings kept his sword trained against the big purple dudes' shoulder.

"Oh really? Well given your insubordinate -and failed- actions as of late, you should expect such treatment _Shockblast_ "

 _Holy shit…_ and just like that I remembered. The cats, the landscape, the big ass robots… it all added up and explained the predicament I was in. That vortex threw me into a show. A _kid's_ show at that, I nearly laughed my ass off at the notion that _I_ was _in_ Transformers Energon. Don't get me wrong, it was nothing short of an awesome experience for a Unicron Trilogy fangirl. Well, an almost awesome experience if it wasn't for the heavy tremors shaking the room. I was so glad that I was already lying on my side as I watched the robots –no, _transformers_ , dance around trying to keep their balance. Again, I was trying not to laugh as I saw the fierce warriors look like clumsy dancing bears.

 _I love these guys…_

"Would someone _please_ explain this to me?!"

"Well it's simple isn't it?! You. Have. No. _Control_!" Shockblast waved his massive guns around as a means to get balance, and maybe to be intimidating...? To me it kind of looked like he was trying to be a bird. I struggled to get up with every intention to escape, because even though I liked the Decepticons when they were just TV characters, I knew for sure they would be very different in person if I were to interact with them. And besides…no one wants to be prisoner.

I slowly, and quietly, walked toward the shadiest part of the room. I was so sure that I'd escape, or at least hide, but alas fate had other plans:

"Megatron!" Starscream just about screeched. Although it could have just been the flyboy trying to get his leaders' attention over the entire ruckus on a matter completely different than me escaping, I couldn't help but look over my shoulder. And as fate had decided to screw me again, all three mechs in the room immediately turned their attention on me. After mouthing an 'oh shit' I sprinted toward the exit, knowing that it was a futile effort to try and escape if there was no place to escape to. Being held prisoner in a giant floating corpse in space held no promises. And surely enough I felt someone snatch me up with a single hand.

 _Called it_

"Excuse me my dear, were you just trying to escape?" Megatron was suddenly in a very pleasant mood. _Maybe…not that I'd admit something so embarrassingly stupid_

"Noooo, I was working on my cardio" I spoke in dry sarcasm, my face remaining stoic while my heart raced as Starscream walked closer to the Decepticon leader. Megatron flashed a frown, then he smiled and then he _laughed,_ "ahhhh, I love it when my prisoners have a sense of humor, it makes things… _interesting_ "

My nose twitched, _ooohhhh boy here we go_. But surprisingly, he made no hostile move, just walked back to his throne chair and sat down…still chuckling, "Starscream you're dismissed".

"Yessir. And the girl?"

"Leave her here"

Starscream gently placed me back on the floor (and it wasn't because he was being a gentlemen) and turned to leave, "oh, and Starscream" he stopped and glanced over his shoulder "bring that moron with you". Starscream nodded and gestured for Shockblast to follow him. Which in my book was a subtle 3rd degree BURN. And to confirm it, Shockblast grumbled loudly and stormed off, but not before shooting me an unidentifiable look. I shivered and couldn't help but have thought, _you got beef son?!_ So as those two left, Megatron began to massage his temples. His gaze then shifted to me, "please do forgive all the drama, it has been rather stressful lately…"

 _Is Megatron on drugs? Warlords shouldn't be nice for no reason_

"Curse that Alpha Q" I heard him mutter loudly. He seemed to have refrained from yelling, "so this is the thanks I get for bringing Unicron back to life…rather unfair isn't it?" he asked _me_

 _Uuuuhhhmmm…_ so I just shrugged. That curt smile quickly morphed into a frown as his piercing orange gaze set on something behind me.

"Megatron!"

So as it turned out his nice-guy act was a ploy (kind of figured from the start) that was easily shattered by the sheer presence of the Autobots. Funny how that stuff worked.

"I've had… _enough!_ "

"The games' over Megatron…!"

 _Uuugghh cliché verbal exchange_

"Take aim-!"

"Rodimus wait! There's a human in the way!"

 _Oh really?! A five foot, two inch girl in the way of a three story frickin' robot? Goodbye logic!_

"Wha-" a massive door then slammed in front of the group, cutting them off from view. I looked over to Megatron, whom of which had a big grin on his face, "I call the shots around here" _everyone look out we got a badass over here_ , I gave him a thumbs up

"Oh…really…?" Out of all the witty ways I could have introduced myself, that was all I could muster. And my voice cracked too. Damn it. At the least, I was staying in character.

He smirked "Yes, and don't you forget it"

I kept from rolling my eyes as a loud banging sounded from the door. The same banging made Megatron scowl, "Those pesky Autobots are mighty persistent…" more banging, and the door finally began to bulge out. Not wasting time, he got up, walked over and effortlessly snatched me from the ground. Nausea threatened to win over me as I was thrown into the cockpit of his vehicle mode, the safety bar locking me into the pilots' seat as he blasted off into a dark corridor.

We flew for a good few minutes or more till we reached a chamber with large draping cables in the middle. "You stay put" I was launched from the cockpit and onto a hand. Which with a surprising gentleness, set me down. Again, I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Curse those Autobots" he hovered into the middle of the cables, a sphere of energy surrounding him as he started doing who-knows-what. I figured nothing good as I tried to recall what he did in the show…hence _tried_ considering my memory was fuzzy.

"They dare challenge me?! I'll destroy Unicron and then you'll be next on my list Alpha Q for interfering-!"

 _Then_ I remembered

"-I'll use all the energon I collected and then destroy all those who challenge my supremacy!"

 _Well shiiit…_

An explosion sounded from the other end of the room as a massive chunk of the wall was blown out, a few of the pieces narrowly missing my head, "Not so fast!" Scorponok emerged through the hole with a scowl, paying absolutely no attention to me.

"Well, if it isn't my dear old friend Scorponok. This _is_ a surprise"

 _Yay, more sarcasm_

"That's it Megatron, I won't allow you to destroy Unicron"

"I tire of your babbling _traitor_ "

"I never _betrayed_ anyone! _Alpha Q_ is my master-!"

"Scorponok!"

I looked past Scorponok to see a very unhappy Ironhide hanging by the man -or transformer- made exit. Scorponok, still paying no heed to my presence or Ironhides', kept his attention on Megatron as he descended. The cables detached and the energy dissipated as he sneered "So you wish to challenge me? I must say, you're in way over your head _Scorponok_ "

Transforming, Scorponok rushed by me (I know, wallflower much?) and attempted to pierce Megatron with his stinger, only to have it sliced off. As Scorponok reverted back to bipedal mode, his red optics briefly flashed over to me, and that proved to be all the distraction Megatron needed to knock him on his ass with a barrage of plasma (or laser?) fire.

"You creep!" Ironhide fired his multiple shoulder-mounted weapons, but Megatron simply just blocked it with his sword, retaliating with his own shoulder-mounted firepower which made quick-work of the Autobot rookie as he flew across the room and landed with a thud. The scraping of metal on metal made a nasty screeching noise as he skidded across the floor.

Shooting me _another_ look Scorponok attempted to tackle Megatron, who then sliced off his other arm. I winced, _that's right…he loses doesn't he?_ And so with more angsty yelling, Megatron delivered the killing blow with his sword buried in Scorponoks' chest. Now THAT upset me a little because I kind of liked Scorponok, but then again, it's not like I could have politely asked the evil war-hungry tyrant to not kill someone who was a huge pain in his ass.

"Don't say I didn't try to warn you Scorponok. But you _didn't listen_. And so, for your betrayal, I will see to it you have your Decepticon mark removed" he drove the sword deeper, eliciting ear-piercing screams from Scorponok which was enough to have made me cover my ears. I looked away as Megatron tossed the scorpion Terrorcon against the furthest wall. I felt a tap and looked up to see a smug Megatron smirking down at me, "Don't feel sorry for him, he deserved it"

 _Yeaaaahhh, suuure he did_ , for the first time in quite a while, I leered at somebody. And made sure it was a mean one.

"I will be sure we have a little chat on the look you just gave me" he turned to Ironhide and scoffed "I detest dealing with amateurs" and walked back toward the middle of the room-

"And I _detest_ being used as a distraction" I mumbled tersely, I didn't expect to be HEARD.

"…But you're doing a fine job as one"

 _Oh dear -quick! act like you wanted to be heard!_ "Ohh ho, _really_?" _...and don't over do it...crap..._

"Yes…now be a dear and keep quiet" the energy returned to envelope him and the cables plugged themselves back in. As far as I was concerned, the whole predicament I was in was turning out to be very frustrating and I wanted to tell him to choke on one of those cords…but I kept my mouth shut. _Poor Scorponok,_ I walked over to Ironhide to see just how bad of an ass-whooping he got. The injuries weren't too bad.

"...hey…"

I looked into blue optics.

"…you…shouldn't be _here_ "

"Not like I can grow a pair of wings and fly off" I sneered and sat down, looking back over to Megatron who appeared to be speaking to somebody, Alpha Q to be correct. The energy around him grew brighter, and I had to cover my eyes as my vision saw nothing but bright green and an intense frequency made my ears ring –and most likely bleed. Tremors rocked with such force that I was knocked onto my side even though I was already on the ground and made me stay in a peculiar position. _Oh right…this part, but shouldn't I have died right there? Or at least blown out into the vacuum of space where I would be no better off?!_ I stayed down until a large hand scooped me up and tossed me into somewhere dark. I heard voices from outside. _I swear I'm going to hurl if he keeps doing that…_ I saw lights blinking in front of me, a steering yoke not far from my right hand. The voices got clearer:

"This little story we are weaving has become rather intriguing" Megatron laughed sinisterly.

"…something's…outta whack here…" Ironhides' muffled voice could barely be heard. I rolled my eyes, _well no_ ** _duh_** _, Lord Megadouche just tore the Universe a new one_

Megatron laughed some more, "Who would have thought it would come to this…The _Universe_ is ripping open!"

"You gotta be joking!"

 _The urge to smack a stupid child is so strong right now_

"There's nothing to be afraid of Autobot. I'm sure you know our existence can't last forever"

"Well…I'm _not_ going _anywhere_!"

"I've warned you, your insolence in my presence will result in your untimely demise…"

I nearly forgot that they liked to talk 95% of the show, whether they were an Autobot or a Decepticon.

"If you want to live I suggest you run. But know this, for the rest of your life you'll only know fear-!"

"I'll never live in fear of anyone!" Ironhide spat back with no delay. I had to admit, in that moment anyway, that he had lugnuts.

"You fool! Why don't I put you out of your misery right here and now!"

 _Or you could just cancel each other out so I won't have to listen to anymore of cheap threats_

"Megatron!"

My eyes shot over to Optimus, whom of which was in very close proximity to Megatron. As if on cue, I was pulled out of the cockpit by…energy (?) and found myself levitating in Megatrons' palm. _That son of a b-_

"About time you showed up _Prime_!"

"Careful Optimus, he's in possession of the human girl-"

 _I'm actually a young woman…_

"Optimus sir!" Ironhide rushed over, earning concerned glances from both the Autobot leaders.

"Get out of here Ironhide it's too dangerous. Especially when Megatron is in possession of the woman, you never know what dirty tricks he'll use"

 _Well that's a kick in the lugnuts…_ it surprised me how much of a total bundle of uselessness the leader of the Autobots made me feel like at that moment. Although I didn't flip him off, I made up for it by giving him the meanest glare I could.

"Then we need to rescue her!"

"Oh I don't think so Autobot…you see I have plans for this lovely little thing-"

 _*insert WTF face here*_

"-and these plans involve destroying you Prime!"

"I don't think so Megatron! I will not let you hurt that poor-"

And there I initiated the 'take no shit' countdown: 3

"-helpless-"

2

"-girl"

1

"Yeah, she's coming with us-!"

"NOPE!"

The Autobots' optics went round. I realized I lessened my chances of ever returning to a normal safe life if I rejected them but…I strangely didn't mind. I didn't mind allying with the Decepticons and only being used as a distraction. The Terrorcons also seemed to take a liking to me (or just that one anyway). It was also intriguing how I was being kept around with little to no verbal or physical abuse. I had no idea if I was going to get myself killed off or not…but I had a feeling I was capable of having the Decepticons (in Energon) like me as much as I liked them. To align myself with the tyrant and his merry-men meant deviating from the path any human would take, but it appealed to me. The humans of the show did play roles but they were either behind a computer or stashed away for safety, the exception being Kicker and I _really_ didn't want to work with that kid. I didn't want that, to be a liability and be bored out of my mind in _a completely new_ Universe. Oh the possibilities.

"You guys will treat me like a liability-" and so I got right to the point "-you even talk about me like I already am. Well you know what? Why don't you all make like lids and screw off!" I was quite aware I sounded like a hormonal teenager (which I respectively was, being seventeen and such), but I didn't care AND I was enjoying myself. I wasn't angry, or even flustered, I was just…care-free.

"But-"

"But _nothing,_ you walking-talking cyber-defect!" I turned to face Megatron, whom had the **biggest** shit-eating grin on his face, "teach me all there is on how to kick Autobot ass… _especially_ his" I pointed to Optimus. Before anymore words could be exchanged, we all heard the sound of two aerial vehicles approach.

"Megatron!" two shadows flew up on both sides of Megatron. One being a jet, the other being a huge VTOL…boat? I'm pretty sure that's what Mirage was. And even though their presence should have been a relief (because they evened the odds), Megatron just growled. "Can't you see me and Optimus have a little business to take care of? Oh…which reminds me" he handed me over to Mirage, who was…delighted?

"You kept your promise!" his naturally deep voice went up an octave or two. _What promise?_

"Yes, now stay out of my way!"

Both lieutenants backed up.

"Okay Prime! Let's do it!"

"Bring it on Megatron-!" and, as if on cue, Optimus was cut off by a blast that could have been none other than…

"BhahahAHA!" maniacal laughter sounded from above as Shockblast descended rapidly toward us and then landed precisely between Megatron and Optimus.

"Uhm-" I immediately shut my mouth once I saw that my warning would be late.

"Mind if I _cut in_ Megatron-?!"

 _AND asteroid to the face, er, eye,_ I cringed as rock impacted metal once the asteroid met Shockblast. I face-palmed as I watched him careen past Megatron and toward the rip yelling indignantly "This wasn't supposed to happen!" but I also had to suppress raw laughter because it was too damn funny witnessing in person. I reminded myself he also lived when he got sucked into the space-time tear (I couldn't help but think _oh_ _wow, we have something in common_ ), so I at least let out a small chuckle. And because he was closest to me, Mirage chuckled too, but probably because he thought SB perished. It was GOOD to laugh.

"Serves that insubordinate right for meddling…now where were we? Oh right, I was going to exterminate you!"

"Never!"

"How about this Optimus-"

 _Talk about a complete 180_

"Why don't you join me on the other side of the light and I'll show you my little universe-" Megatron 'shockingly' changed his mind. And laughter escaped my throat, my boisterous noise earning a few concerned glances, especially since I was quiet less than a minute ago. I silently cursed my dirty mind.

"Sorry sir…you may resume" I quieted down to a fit of giggles.

"We'll run you through a mental evaluation later, now Decepticons…Arise!"

"Sir!" Mirage transformed, and lightly tossed me into his pilot chair

"Ready and able Megatron!" Starscream also transformed

"Follow me men!" then we all flew toward the rift. I wiggled my nose _Oh goodie, cat and mouse_. I made a wry grin at my corny thought; _this Universe is rubbing off on me already_ …


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read and enjoy! Reviews are appreciated ;)**

 **Read on my lovelies!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers/Beast Wars and it's related canon content and characters. I only own my OC's.**

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 **Chapter 3** : **Protection**

So flying through space was exhilarating at first. The lovely view, however, eventually got boring, especially when Megatron ran a recap on what happened lately. Hell, he just about told me his whole damn life-story…and so I found myself playing with Mirages' steering wheel. Of course I knew for boats it would be called something different, but I called it a steering wheel anyway because that's what it really looked like. And not just any steering wheel, it looked like it belonged to a high end sports car.

"You know if you want to steer, you can just _ask_ " Mirage said in a peeved tone.

And so I took that as the time to ask: "Why are you guys treating me like a damn princess" just not about steering.

And in response to my bold enquiry, he just about stalled.

"What do you mean?! And watch your language!"

 _Uuuuugggghhhhh,_ "Okay. Let's start with who found me while I was back on Cybertron, all I remember is a flashbang" I purposely omitted that touchy little detail about being from a different universe.

"Mirage blinded Autobots and recovered you"

"Did you just refer to yourself in 3rd person?"

"Yes"

"That's…adorable" I knew he was like that, but I just wanted to tell him in person.

"…"

"Moving on…Am I gonna be a Decepticon pet now or what?"

"Yes"

"Huh…well if that's the case; please do not give me a pet name like…" I tapped my chin with my index finger "Fluffy or Cuddles…my name is Katherine, but you can call me Kat" I placed my hands back on the steering wheel "Last question; may I steer?"

"Yes"

"You're the best…hey Mirage?"

"What now" Mirage grumbled.

"Are you familiar with the 'barrel roll'?"

So after doing laps around Megatron and Starscream and various other tricks, because the steering wheel also doubled as a steering yoke, I was eventually told to stop dilly-dallying. Along with Mirage, whom of which gave an adorable whimper/grumble for being reprimanded by his leader, "Little girl; bad influence"

I was chuckling too hard to give him the political correction on how I was more of a 'small woman'. I also couldn't help but have spotted two bots as they moped around on a small asteroid, and so I lightly tapped on the console, "yo Big M, you know those guys?" I pointed in the direction of SnowCat and Demolisher, careful not to use their names.

"SnowCat! Demolisher!" he veered to the left, and accelerated rapidly toward his buddies. However, he accelerated a little too quickly as both the poor D-cons squealed and leaped out of the way in time to avoid getting flattened.

"Hey watch where ya goin' ya big doofus!" SnowCat shook his fist angrily.

"Yeah you almost flattened us!" Demolisher added his two cents. And both decepticons would have likely kept throwing insults if Megatron hadn't flew in…

"Imbeciles!"

…and made them squeal like little girls. I suppressed more laughter. Ah yes, I really was loving my time with the Decepticons.

"So you two decided to go for a little space picnic is that it?!"

"We got sucked into the black hole by accident! We didn't mean to desert you!" SnowCat whined, Demolisher then followed up with a "yeah!" and just like that, Mgeatron transformed to bipedal mode, nodded and face-palmed. A clear sign of embarrassment.

"All right, so I won't snuff your pansy sparks. However, there is to be no more of it, do I make myself clear?!"

"Y-Yessir" they simultaneously saluted.

"All right men…move out! Destroy as many as these planets as you can!"

With that order both Starscream and Mirage switched to robot form. Mirage carefully maneuvered me so I was in his palm as he followed Megatron when he swooped down upon an infant planet like an eagle and proceeded to pulverize it. With his fist.

There was a snicker from SnowCat, "Who put the bee in your bonnet?"

"The Autobots. And not just any bee…" I smiled over to SnowCat "…but the biggest frickin' wasp they could find"

"Stop it you two!" he crumpled whatever baby planet was left in his palm and scowled "These planets will soon be as useless and vacant as you SnowCat once we have collected all their energon-"

"Why me?"

"Because you started it"

I snorted. SnowCat whined. _Poor SnowBall_

"Megatron…are you still going ahead with your plan to revive Unicron?" Mirage lightly tapped my head. A sure form of petting.

"Well of course he's still going to resurrect Unicron you dimwit, I don't even know what you're still doing here" Demolisher jeered.

"CAN IT! I worry about the plan, you follow orders! Transform!" and just like that Megatron transformed and flew off.

"I swear to _Primus_ that guy's bipolar" I smirked while Demolisher and SnowCat sniggered. Mirage nodded in agreement.

"He is a little moody today" and transformed. From there, we all followed our 'bipolar' leader.

We flew for maybe a half-hour (hard to tell what time it is when you're in space) before coming across a void, which we then crossed with no hesitation. I couldn't help but have felt it was asinine to return to Unicron even after Megatron announced a 'retreat'. But, there may have been some method to his madness such as retrieving Demolisher and SnowCat…but wouldn't he have had revived Scorponok before then instead of doing a full loop? Yeah, as much as I loved it, the Energon universe confused me, and in my confusion, my hand tightened around the steering wheel.

"Little girl nervous"

I also wasn't thrilled at the idea of returning to somewhere with questionably breathable gases…who knew, I may have gotten radiation poisoning. Yippee. "Yea don't worry, it'll pass" the restraining belts around me grew…tighter?

"Nothing to fear"

I refrained from snorting at Mirages' strange dialect, something that would like to change so quickly you thought you'd be talking to another bot. My eyes softened and I patted the console, "I suppose so" as we then approached a large, malicious looking shadow with multiple pointed protrusions sticking from his back. Space debris flew by us as we left the void and weaved through asteroids on our journey to Unicron. I didn't dare tighten my grip, because I also found I was quite chilly. I didn't feel like getting 'coddled' by Mirage again. Once on the surface of the planet-eating behemoth, Snowcat started…yodeling, and rather loudly, as we all gathered in one spot. Mirage still maintained vehicle mode as it was decided it was for my protection.

"Follow me!" and off our leader went. _Effective team communication folks…_

"Huh? Megatron?"

 _ **Not!**_ I sighed "This little game of 'Follow the Leader' is really hard to follow" I activated Mirages' speaker unit. That earned a snort and a chuckle from the dynamic duo. And…

"Quiet you"

…a reprimand from Starscream. Mirage kept quiet, but I knew he was laughing on the inside. And so we all followed the winged tyrant.

"I thought we were going to feed the energon to Unicron?" Demolishers' orange orbs glinted with concern.

"I'm going to deal with this headache before I deal with Unicron"

And low-and-behold we all gathered around Scorponoks' husk, tucked away in a deep, dark corner. I shivered even though Mirages' cab temperature must have been eighty degrees.

"You mean _Scorponok_?...You _want_ to revive this _piece of_ _ **junk**_?" Mirage transformed, me being carefully maneuvered onto his shoulder.

"He will be useful for gathering energon…and he has a special way with the Terrorcons" Megatron informed.

"Are you _crazy_? He nearly betrayed you"

"And I thought our little lady friend did that? And besides, what if Scorponok _slips up_ again?" SnowCat cackled for…whatever reason.

Megatron released a deep, disappointed sigh, "Just because ONE Terrorcon took a liking to her doesn't mean she has any special abilities. And as for loyalty…don't you worry your frozen little brain about that" he held out his hand, which had an orb of purple energy, over Scorponoks' Decepticon insignia "I'll burn the Decepticon mark so deeply into his armor, that I'll reformat him **entirely** " and so he did. Upon waking up, Scorponok cried out. He recovered rather quickly as he shot up, evidently not needing to maintain balance as he stood there as still as a statue.

"You. You are. I-" he grasped his head, and a few vents later, Scorponok turned his red optics back onto Megatron. He possessed a dull stare.

"I am your Master-" Megatron crossed his arms "and you are my loyal Terrorcon subject, _Scorponok_ "

"I…" a long pause, then "I am. Scorponok reporting for duty, Lord Megatron"

My eyebrows raised and my mouth went agape, "…just like that huh?" Megatron nodded smugly "hmmm" and so I waved (because why not?) at our new team-member. Who wasn't really new…or should be on our team. Scorponok tilted his head curiously.

"Is she…a human?"

"She is very much human…" Megatron gave me a smirk. _The_ smirk "I ran a few scans on her myself-"

 _Wait, what the f-_

"I may have neglected to mention that to her"

My face surely resembled that of sheer aggravation. And so before I could voice my displeasure with such a thing, which would have surely got straight guffaws from everybody but Starscream, Megatron gave a dismissive wave "…even so, she might come in handy. You have any problems with her?"

"No. She seems very well behaved"

 _I'll pretend I didn't hear that_ "Name's Katherine, or Kat, whichever you prefer" and so I held out a hand, but quickly drew it back. It was also there that I realized I haven't introduced myself to anyone but Mirage. I suppose in the situation I was in, one would forget little things like that. Megatron looked delighted.

"And so she finally introduces herself-"

"Megatron…!" SnowCat yelled, scaring me half to death because of his proximity and volume. Hell, he was quiet that whole time, and thus I forgot he was there, "I've just received a Decepticon signal!"

"From Shockblast?" Mirage sounded utterly disappointed. I stifled a laugh.

Demolisher chortled "It's the other traitor…and he's in a pickle"

"Excuse me Megatron…" I jumped as I also forgot about Starscream too "do you want to retrieve him?"

"No. Leave him to fend for himself"

I felt Mirage straighten. I was pretty sure he was in complete disbelief from Starscreams' inane question "He tried to sabotage Megatron, remember?!"

"On second thought-" all eyes were on fearless leader "let's watch Wingdagger tear him apart"

"You mean WingSaber sir"

 _Starscream…you trying to get your ass kicked?_

"Dagger. Saber. Same difference Starscream. Either way, he's just an Autobot. And either way, will save me the trouble of destroying that ungrateful runaway myself"

I leapt onto SnowCats' shoulder. Surely catching the lieutenant (or whatever hell rank he was) by surprise, "…why's the buff so strong between your leader and Shockblast?" again, I knew, but I asked anyway. SnowCat chuckled/ cackled "cuz Shockblast is a little troublemaker"

"And you will be wise to not fraternize with him" Mirage butted in. I was, after all, trying not to keep such a discussion secret. I looked innocently up to him, "Of course not" my expression was blank. And so, Mirage just shrugged it off thinking nothing of it. What he didn't know was that I was _very_ interested in interacting with Mr. Brash N' Sarcastic. And I don't mean that in an odd sexual way. Perverts.

"Starscream"

"Yes sir?"

"If you want to check up on our troublesome runaway, you're more than welcome to trace his signal…if there's any energon where he is, be sure to report it"

With a dramatic nod, Starscream went about to faithfully carry out his master's orders. _Gee, this guy was such a badass back in Armada…and now, he's just a kiss-up,_ I frowned as I saw Starscream phase-out before our eyes. Megatron glanced at me, but fixed his gaze on Scorponok, "…and if he returns, Scorponok, with news of energon, I want you and _Kat_ …" he emphasized with another cheesy glance "to retrieve it, as not only your first official mission, but for both of you to get initiated into my ranks. Use her as a bargaining chip if things get too hairy"

 _COME ON!_ I just shrugged and nodded and kept my complaints to myself. Ugh.

"Oh and I just remembered-"

Something or some _things_ wrapped around my waist and head, and lifted me from a startled SnowCats' shoulder:

"HOLY SH- HELP!" with the assumption that tentacles were never a good thing, I flailed about pathetically, my face undoubtedly a distraught one. What was I thinking? Yeah, I won't tell you. I continued to freak out, but calmed down once the whole ordeal was over and I was placed back on solid ground. _What in the name of-_ I didn't find anything different. No armor, no suit to protect me from future hazards.

Nadda, zip, zero.

I looked at Megatron with a bewildered stare. Such silence was enough to satisfy him as he just grinned.

"Uhhhhm Megatron? I don't see a difference" SnowCat voiced my second wave of thoughts. Whereas Demolisher pounded his chest like a gorilla and Mirage bent down to pat me…gently. A pity pat on the head perhaps? _He is never going to stop with that is he?_ I uttered a nervous chuckle as the big guy placed me back on his shoulder.

"Fascinating…" Megatron sat back down as he drilled me with a thoughtful glare "now we wait"

We only waited for not-many minutes before Starscream materialized before us. Looking indifferent as expected, he reported: "There is a massive cache of energon located deep in the planet where Shockblast is imprisoned"

Such news made Megatron beam with glee because 1) energon, and 2)Shockblast was strung up like a piñata "Excellent. Scorponok, _Kat_?"

I paused mid-pat of a Terrorcon belly…whether it was a random Terrorcon or the same one from before the flashbang, I didn't know.

"We are on it Lord Megatron" Scorponok gestured for me to follow. And so I hopped onto his leg. What? I wasn't going to keep pace with a huge robot in a hurry! Hell, he seemed to agree with me, even if he scoffed at my pathetic attempt of climbing up him like a jungle gym…and called me a parasite…and –oh nevermind.

As we got out onto the surface, Scorponok tossed me into his chest compartment. Away from his spark mind you, because no Transformer wants a fried human inside of them.

The vortex opened within the barren planets' upper atmosphere. Scorponoks' metallic hide endured the heat from entry, and the compartment I was in automatically adjusted the oxygen and pressure as we descended rapidly. _Oh boy, first day on the job and I'm someone's pocket hostage_ I sighed and curled in on myself as we landed. Once we got settled, Scorponok urged for me to get out, i.e. he ejected me.

And thus began a beautiful friendship.

I gripped onto his chest and swiftly clambered downwards. Although I was no climbing expert, I made it onto ground without landing on my ass. Cheers. "You have free reign, don't get yourself captured" he advised bitterly and walked off. _What a sweetheart_ I blew out air, feeling dejected and useless. My earlier hopes and promises had done a flip. Complete with a bite to the arse.

After a minute or two of evaluating my life's choices I shook my head and peeked around my cover. Only to see Scorponok try to impale Ironhide with his stinger. _Yeah, he doesn't need help-_ I felt a nudge and spun around in sheer panic to see a Battle Ravage snarling at me angrily (I thought he was going to eat me there). So…I (ah hahahem) backed the heck up, but couldn't when he placed his head on my lap. "Ehehehe errr…what's wrong buddy?" as if he knew exactly what I asked, he gestured with his head toward his problem. That problem being Kicker and Arcee destroying waves upon waves of Terrorcons. I somehow empathized with the Terrorcon. But then again, I knew I'd be pissed off if anyone hurt my family. "Then let's hurt him back-" I punched my palm, not sure HOW I was going to inflict damage on someone with a battle suit and a badass omnibot as back-up "even more so". With a nervous grin, I hopped on Ravage. He growled loudly and bounded after the kid on the white and pink motorcycle. That motorcycle being quite a distance away, but Ravage gained on them swiftly. My assumption was anger-induced adrenalin. As we pulled up on the left, I was met with a startled gasp from an armored Kicker, his dark visor almost hiding his look of pure shock, "Who-" I cut him off with a wave and a smile and a _palm_ to the _face_. It wasn't very powerful, and his face was covered with a helmet BUT it stunned him…almost. Leave me alone.

With several shakes of his head, Kicker glared back at me "What is your problem lady?!".

"Correction: What ISN'T my problem"

Ravage snapped his jaws at Kicker with every intention of biting him, but it was easily avoided by Arcees' ridiculously good reaction time. The omnibot veered to the right, but Ravage was right on her exhaust pipes. _Hmmm…_ my eyes narrowed as we stayed closely behind, _all he needs to do is swipe at the wheel_. Instead, he did something a lot more effective as his maw opened and a beam of energy shot out and scored a direct hit to Arcees' rear wheel. The omnibot grunted in pain as she transformed, Kicker launched himself and then landed right beside her. Both of which, did not look very happy with me.

"Wait…are you the human who insulted Optimus?" her blue optics narrowed. Kicker readied his sword, which seemed to have just popped out of nowhere.

"Arcee, is she really with the Decepticons-?"

"How can you be so sure hmmm-?!" I coughed, and NOT for dramatic effect. Damn dry air "What if I wanted to take my kitty for a walk?" _people walk dogs not cats…stupid…_

Arcee eyed me like I was ill "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm gucci"

Silence, and whatever was going to come after that (Kicker was definitely going to add his two cents) was interrupted as a shadow engulfed me. _Please don't be an Autobot,_ I looked up, straight into deep blue-green optics and grinned. Mirage had his shoulder-mounted cannons pointed straight at Arcee "Mirage crush puny Autobot". Both bot and her human pal leaped out of the way as Mirage decimated the area they were in mere moments ago. Quickly regrouping, they both made a hasty retreat, Arcee barely being able to keep balance with a damaged rear wheel. _Kinda took your sweet time but oh well,_ I gave Mirage a thumbs up and quickly set off to find Scorponok. It didn't take long to find him, the Terrorcon behemoth made quick work of the ground beneath him as he stomped on it. The force created a chasm, little deposits of energon clearly visible from where Ravage and I were standing. Scorponok then looked at me and gave a rushed nod. With a deep breath I dismounted Battle Ravage and fought for balance as the stampedes of his brethren made the ground shake. Waves of white/green/blue cascaded into the chasm. _Strength in numbers,_ I patted Ravage, who growled gleefully. Just then a large red and white shuttle/plane flew directly toward us shouting "You got it!" the cheerful and eager attitude evidently belonged to that of Jetfire. Thankfully he didn't get close as another large shadow flew into view and attempted to blast him with his shoulder cannons:

"Let Mirage take care of the Autobots!"

 _He's really on his A-game today,_ I gave him a thumbs up, which was acknowledged, but not returned as the boat-former engaged Jetfire. Scorponok leapt into the chasm, my feline companion in tow, along with a few more waves of Terrorcons. I stayed put, not wishing to be accidently trampled. I know, real Mary-Sueish right?

Upon examination, I saw that the chasm was nearly depleted and satisfied Terrorcons licked their chops. Scorponok announced loudly "It's mission complete, let's get out of here Megatron" as swarms of Terrorhawks flew in and lifted every ground unit in the crevasse. As they broke the surface, Scorponok half-heartedly snatched me from the ground and we regrouped with a fleeing Megatron and the rest of the Decepticons. SnowCat followed closely behind us as we all made a beeline for the dark swirling vortex. Upon flying past him, I couldn't help but chuckle as Shockblast yelled, "Wait guys! You forgot about me!" the poor guy looked absolutely pitiful in chains.

 _Patience, we'll be back…_

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 **What'd ya think? Please review and provide feedback :)**

 **I LUVS YOU ALL**


	4. Chapter 4

**I intended to upload this yesterday, however, I got sidetracked. Now, please enjoy chapter 4! :D the chapter where Kat gets her 'official' bodyguard *chuckles*.**

 **I do not own Transformers/Beast Wars.**

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 **Chapter 4: Imprisoned Inferno**

Once we settled back in Unicron, Megatron walked right back to his favorite place –his throne. He looked comfortable with not only the satisfaction of a mission success, but with the knowledge that Shockblast wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. As I examined myself and Ravage for any injuries, I heard excited murmurs amongst 'The Trio'. I blushed as soon as I realized it was about me. I felt a poke, and my blush grew deeper as I looked up into Mirages' optics, "Little girl popular".

"Err, sure buddy" I kneeled down and started to scratch Ravages' metal belly, the Terrorcon flopped onto his side. I felt another poke, but it wasn't by a Decepticon. Beady red optics glinted in jealousy as a Terrorhawk cocked his head to the side. My blush couldn't get any redder as I rubbed the large hawks' metal beak, _huh, these guys really love me_. I smiled and placed my other hand on Ravages' belly whilst keeping my left on Divebombs' beak. And yes, I was very aware of the curious stares I was getting. And the whole deal was nice and peaceful until-

"Shockblast!" Megatron activated his comm. unit, and I jumped AND squeaked. I faintly heard a certain distressed damsel begging. "See what happens when you try to outsmart me…" Megatron snarked, his optics gleaming as there was more noise "Now here you are, at the hands of the enemy-" more noise "Well I suppose you are getting precisely what you deserve you _coward-_ "

I stifled a snort as I stood up. Ravage purred loudly behind me as he rolled over onto his belly. Divebomb flapped his metallic wings.

"-and it saves me the trouble of having to punish you" there was more noise before he hung up "hmph, so it won't be long before he comes crawling back"

"Should I start counting down?"

There was a chuckle from the tyrant, and (gasp!) a smirk from Starscream, who turned his attention back onto his leader "I couldn't agree more your high and mightiness, who does he think he is defying your superiority? I believe the first rule of a Decepticon is to serve you Megatron. Because without you, our existence is meaningless-"

I held up my hand, my ring finger being the first to fold in as I mouthed '3'

"Ah yes, precisely. Now if only Shockblast were as perceptive and loyal as you Starscream" '2'

 _Yea, cuz' you_ _ **brainwashed**_ _him,_ '1'. I faintly heard Shockblast patch in, which made the tyrants' head perk up, "huh?" I faintly heard a 'Please' and 'out' on the other end of the line. Megatrons' optic ridges quirked up in sync with my eyebrows.

"Oh _really_?"

:"I've had a change of heart-!": the transmission suddenly was loud enough to hear. I realized that was probably because Ravage stopped purring so loudly.I listened in, :"now just get me out of here!":

"You've come to your senses…well, I _suppose_ I'll help you this time"

I heard muttering at the other end of the line before it dropped. Megatron stretched and casually strolled out of the room as if he had the most pleasant chat. Although he didn't give any orders, we all followed him anyway, the guys being ready to fight the Autobots again on such a short notice. So with body on autopilot, I leaped back on Scorponok and we rushed on outside going through the same good ol' warp gate. Only that time, Mirage offered a ride, and I graciously took it because it seemed like the safest method as the large bot had stayed in vehicle mode…and Scorponok looked ready to swat me. As I adjusted myself in the pilot's seat, eating up a few minutes, and we all flew out into a spot that was significantly closer to the ground than the first gate. I braced myself as Mirage made a steep descent.

"Look Megatron! There's only one Autobot guarding him!"

"Then eliminate him SnowCat"

"With pleasure sir!" the dynamic duo on either side of us seemed happy to carry out such an order as they barraged a lone Inferno with their firepower. The red Autobot ran off in hopes of shaking them off.

After taking a moment or two to watch his subordinates chase off Inferno, Megatron then flew toward a rocky arch. Mirage stuck close to him as he closed in on and landed next to an imprisoned Shockblast. The boat landed and _allowed_ me to _exit_ before transforming to his full height as we all walked toward the troublemaker who looked at Megatron expectantly.

"Hurry up Megatron. Get me _out of here_!"

Mirage, as if he just realized that I was on 'squish' level, picked me up with swift precision and placed me on his shoulder. Megatron snorted.

"Yes Mirage we wouldn't want the young lady to get underfoot…" orange optics snapped over to Shockblast (who was eyeing me in that same half-hostile, half-inquisitive gaze he gave me hours earlier) "Now where were we? Ah yes, we were discussing the terms of your release"

 _Wait, I don't remember that specific line being in the show…_ I mentally slapped myself _well of course not! You being here is likely going to alter some dialogue_. I was aware that there were some extra conversations, but that was only because I was behind the scenes with the _Decepticons_. Even so, I was nervous and excited to see if maybe I could alter events rather than an exchange of words.

"Terms?! What terms?! Come _on_ , I'm one of you! Just free me and be done with it!"

I face-palmed.

"That fact does not aid into your release Shockblast…hmmm…" Megatron theatrically stroked his chin.

"You can't be considering this Lord Megatron!"

"And why not Mirage?" the tyrant's tone was laced with fake exasperation.

"Because he will merely betray you AGAIN"

 _Okay…things seem to be going back on course…_

"You just might have a point there Mirage…why don't we _rewire_ him first"

I shuddered. I knew very well Shockblast would save himself at the last minute…but the strange feeling in my gut wouldn't leave me alone. Especially when Megatron advanced.

"W-wait Megatron-!"

The massive plane-former raised his sword. My eyes went wide.

"I-I'll capture an Autobot, as proof of my loyalty –ergh!" Shockblast's antennae twitched rapidly as Megatrons' sword slashed across his right shoulder.

"Not good enough…" the tyrant just about sung. Every muscle in my body tensed as the cyclopean was slashed again. _What the hell?! I thought Inferno was the tortured one in this episode!_

" _W_ _hat_ do you _want_ from _me_?!" Shockblast spat in raw anger and…fear…?

"To make an example" and so those orange optics just HAD to glance at me. And they were complete with a _smirk_. " _Before_ I rewire you" there was an awkward pause as all three mechs trained their optics/optic on me. _Can anyone say 'oh shit'?_ I acted quickly and waved my hands in a gesture signifying surrender. I absolutely did NOT want Shockblast to be tortured (some more) and then reprogrammed.

"Ehehee uhhmm…point made?" despite trying to be serious, the stress of the alien situation made me sound downright comical when it really shouldn't have.

"Good" Megatron raised his sword again, and that time, it was trained over Shockblasts' spark chamber.

"Wait!"

The blade paused mere centimeters (just guessing here, let's just say it was a very small distance) from the cyclopean's chest. The spotlight, again, was on me. Joy.

"What if he's given another test that will ensure his loyalty? Something that would be so beneath him he _wished_ he was dead"

I earned _Megatrons'_ audience. _Shockblast is probably going to hate me for this_. "Go on…"

"With your numbers so low I figured it would be less wasteful to not kill him-"

"Get to the point girl" Mirage poked me. Megatron rolled his wrist as if to say 'get on with it'.

"Aside from capturing an Autobot, he must bring me with him-" Shockblast's antennae comically twitched forward "-AND make sure no harm comes to me". I shit you not; I made up those terms on the spot. Was I being selfish for wanting to spend time with one of my favorite transformers? I hope not.

Shockblast guffawed "babahahaHAHA, that's it?! Play babysitter?! Is that all you got Dollface! That's a piece of cake! Yeah sure it's hurts my pride a little, but it's better than being a mindless zombie!" as he jerked against his chains. _So he accepts?_

Megatron hummed in disapproval, "Sorry my dear, but that sounds too easy-"

"I wasn't done" I retorted, effectively stopping Megatrons' sword again, just as SB let out a surprised squawk.

"What?" Mirage sounded confused.

"Let me clarify: Yes, you're going to 'babysit'-" I used air quotations "-me, however, let me also clarify the duration of your test-"

"I don't like where this is going" Shockblast deadpanned.

"…is not just for today". The air was pregnant with silence up until a deep rumbling laughter rang out. Megatron knew exactly what I implied. And judging by the vibrations under where I was seated on his shoulder, so did Mirage.

"That is…" more laughter "absolutely perfect! Shockblast some helpless damsel's _bodyguard_!" Megatron lowered his sword and walked over to me. As if he telepathically knew what Megatron wanted, Mirage lifted me off his shoulder and dumped me into Megatrons' hands.

"Good thinking. Not only does he have to follow my every command from here on out BUT he has to protect you as _punishment_ " he pat me "this will be fun". He strolled over to SB, whom appeared to be sulking (but I knew better).

"This young lady has just given me an idea Shockblast"

"Good for you, you seem to lack those" said cyclopean quipped. _You're not making things easier on yourself you snarky bastard_ I sighed.

"If -or should I say _when_ \- you fail your new assignment and she dies or perhaps gets captured, you will be executed"

"But-"

"If any harm comes to her that will be no exception" Mirage piped up, sounding very much like a paternal figure.

Shockblast deflated "Unbelievable…you guys are really going through with this…"

"Do you accept" Megatron asked rhetorically. I shifted uncomfortably between Megatrons' palms.

" _Fine_ "

With that final venomous answer, Megatron cut Shockblast free. And even though a few parts of him were thoroughly sliced through, SB's posture did not falter. A singular green optic bored into my amber eyes and then shot upward.

"Hand her over" Shockblast grumbled agitatedly as his large black claw stretched outward. Without any delay I was then dumped unceremoniously onto the freaky (awesome) appendage. Was I insane for wanting to spend time with one of my favorite transformers who just so happened to have a short fuse and a massive gun? The answer would be a big fat YES.

I (wisely) kept my mouth shut as SB started to levitate "Now if you _gentlemen_ don't mind, I have an Autobot to capture".

"And a girl to protect" Megatron prompted.

"Whatever". And with that, Shockblast took off.

 _This is…fun…?_ I peered over SB's claw, my head swam a little with nausea as I noted just how far off the ground we were. I wasn't afraid of heights, but, I was afraid of falling. I know I'm silly, shut up.

"Just so you know Princess, this whole mess was your idea"

"Eeyup" my eyes briefly flashed over to his single green orb. He just snorted and refocused on one particular spot…in a chasm. _Take your sweet time it's not like-_

"Hey"

"Yeessss?" I tried my absolute best _not_ to sound like Megatron from Beast Wars.

"Just because our 'fearless leader' has forbid me from hurting you, that doesn't mean I can't have my fun"

"Neat" I honestly had no idea was he was going to do next, embarrassing right?

His jets had suddenly cut off, and both of us plummeted rapidly toward Iron Planets' surface. And if that wasn't scary enough, the asshole (sure I liked him, but honestly, that didn't change what he was) relinquished his grip on me, my momentum no longer his. In other words, I was fell away from him, both vertically and horizontally. I didn't scream, but I sure as hell gasped very loudly and attempted to 'swim' through the air. Pointless? I know.

"Loving the view? ahaAHAHAHA!"

"Oh yeah it's real scenic you ass-hat!" I screeched over the rush of wind.

" _What_ did you just call me?!"

I paid no attention to him as the chasm grew wider and time slowed down. Despite knowing that such a universe was too pure for a gruesome death, I could not stop the rise of dread in my conscious mind. I was not ready to die. Kiddy universe or not, I didn't want to meet my maker so early and have _Shockblast_ be the harbinger of my doom. I resumed trying to 'distribute' myself so I wouldn't have fallen so quickly, but you know, Physics was being as much of a jerk as the giant robot meters away from me. I exhaled, defeated _oh well, maybe I was just dreaming this whole time-_

I yelped as something massive whooshed by me, the displacement almost tearing my damn clothes off, and no I am NOT exaggerating! While I was desperately keeping the world from viewing my undergarments, something snared and then pressed me against a cold hard surface. As you would guess, I called Shockblast every colorful colloquialism under the sun (in my head of course) as he did a little maneuver, both our heads pointed straight down. _Oh my…I may have a concussion…_ at least I knew then where I was in the plotline, i.e. SB bombarding Inferno with his deadly lasers while the Autobot was cooped up in the crevasse…I just didn't anticipate Shockblast pulling that audacious stunt on me. Yeah, I really was insane with a huge and unhealthy helping of stupid.

I gulped as Shockblast delivered a few more pillars of destructive energy and then corrected his free-fall with a slower, more controlled descent. "You still alive _Princess_?" he inquired with a tone of mock worry as he planted his massive feet firmly on the ground. I held my head.

"Unfortunately"

"Huh, little miss soldier I see…" he fired several shots near the top of the chasm "AND speaking of SOLDIERS, I know you're in here _Inferno_ " and stomped forward. With my powers of recall I reassured myself that no giant chunks of rocky iron would fall on us because they didn't fall on SB in the show. However, with recent events I didn't dare test that theory. I knocked loudly on Shockblasts' chest.

"Some advice; DON'T make it rain boulders in here"

"And why not DollFace? Scared of getting dirty?"

I smacked my forehead. "Noooo, I'm scared of getting buried-" an unpleasant scene played in head "-or pancaked". I only got a snigger.

"If you be quiet like a good girl I promise no _rocks_ will hurt you". There it was again, that tone. Dear Primus I had regrets.

I wriggled out of his grip and sat down on his shoulder, out in the open where I was vulnerable to the falling debris as he continued to blast the narrow area. To do what you ask? To smack him upside the head of course! Yes it was dumb, but it was _worth it_. "Did you just-"

"Yes siree". And for a full five seconds we stayed quiet. That heavenly bliss coming to an abrupt end as Shockblast snickered darkly.

"You're really trying your luck Princess…hmmmm…" his head remained pointed forward and his antennae were stone still.

 _What. Have. I. Done._ I squeaked as I found myself yanked and then placed on solid ground. I looked around, dazed at my sudden relocation, and then craned my neck upwards. A single green orb leered at me. "Ehehe, I'm…sorry…?" I grinned like an idiot. Then ran like an idiot. _Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope_ I didn't bother look over my shoulder as heavy mechanical footfalls followed me with no hurry.

"Ohhhhh Inferno, if you don't stop playing this game I'm gonna squish the little human…"

I slowed my pace _oh I think I know –eep!_ but entered a dead sprint once I heard the familiar drone of a huge weapon charging. _Or maybe I royally screwed myself_ I grimaced as I tripped, boulder sized chunks landed inches from me.

"…or maybe the falling debris will, who knows". I glanced over my shoulder in time to see Shockblast nudge me with his foot, which by the way wasn't gentle. My posterior ached immediately, _that's going to be sore in the morning_. We both glared at each other in awkward silence, nothing really to break the tension except for the sound of me dusting myself off.

"Maybe he left" I commented dryly. My spunk returned once I realized I wasn't going to die. Sure it hurt my ego a little being used as a damsel, but hey, Shockblast had a plan.

"Be quiet, you're ruining my plan" he hissed in response. Clearly aggravated his 'plan' didn't work.

"And you ruined my dress"

"Boohoo"

"Manchild" I muttered loudly and walked forward with the assumption Starscream had found Inferno, provided the story hadn't altered too much. Luckily, nothing seemed changed as I heard someone whispering and another grunting. Smirking, I gestured for Shockblast to follow as I honed in on the Decepticon SIC and his hostage. As predicted, Inferno had a sword pressed against his throat.

"Hi Starscream!" I waved at the SIC "Making friends?"

"What are you doing here? You'll get hurt you foolish girl"

 _Puh-lease_ "Just so you are aware, I came in with _that_ guy" I jerked my thumb at Shockblast as he approached from around the boulder. "It wasn't exactly a luxury trip"

"You-" whatever Starscream wanted to ask me was rudely cut off by a growl of pure distaste.

"What are you doing here Starscream" SB stopped just inches behind me, the distance seeming smaller because (you know) of his size. Jeepers, the guy was HUGE.

"Hey! We're all on the same side Shockblast! And besides, it was _Megatron_!"

Plane engines roared loudly as Megatron took that as his cue to join us. Already in robot form, he brutally pinned Inferno as Starscream released the fire-truck autobot. Even as he was pinned, Inferno didn't pay any attention to his future tormentor. His orange optics instead studied me. _What am I, a freakin' UNICORN to these punks?!_ I returned his puzzled gaze with one of my own. "They're not hurting you are they?" Inferno snapped his angry optics onto Megatron "You monster! Keeping some poor girl against her will!"

 _Huh, does he not know?_ Unlike Kicker and Arcee, Inferno had not caught wind of my allegiance. Poor guy. "I'm fine…" _butt's sore though_ "…and I'm NOT being held against my will" I added pointedly.

"I don't understand…"

Megatron huffed "Silly Autobot, did you not hear her? She's _one_ of _us_ " and pressed his sword against Infernos' insignia.

"She…she can't be…"

 _Sorry Inferno,_ I leaned backward and slapped Shockblasts' leg, because I could without the risk of pulverization. Yippee. "If I wasn't, NumbNuts here would have squashed me" I glanced up at SB. "Don't tempt me" I heard him grumble as my gaze shifted over onto a chuckling Megatron.

"He _would_ have surely flattened her because of that nickname. But as you can see, he didn't because he is under strict orders not to harm our little… _ally_ " the tyrants' sword crackled with electricity as he plunged it into Infernos' chest "With that said, you will soon join her Inferno!"

"Never!" Inferno cried "I will never become a Decepticon!". Megatron and Starscream only snorted at his heroics. I myself was getting a little drowsy from boredom, must have been because I've seen that whole scene before. But that was on a screen, then it was right before my eyes...huh, I really thought something may have been wrong with me. I was, no doubt, still not fully convinced of my 'placement'. _This still feels so surreal…_ my sore butt throbbed dully; _then again, the pain in my ass confirms I'm not in just any ordinary lucid dream…_

"Shockblast why don't you go up top and have a little look-see around" Starscream raspy voice jostled me from my thoughts.

"Why you-"

"Shockblast!" we all jerked to attention. If my knees were any straighter they'd likely would have popped backwards. "What part of that order did you not understand?!"

"I-"

"Starscream, Mirage, SnowCat and Demolisher all rank above you! And you are to follow their orders, do I make myself clear soldier!"

My newly appointed 'guardian' growled. "Oh, and bring Katherine with you, I doubt she would want to watch any more of this" Megatron dug his sword into Inferno…again. He appeared to also have had a manic grin. I didn't argue in the slightest, even if Shockblast had snatched me from the ground harshly…I just sat back against his claw as he soared to the top of the chasm. Infernos' pained screams echoed below us, _t_ _hat could have been Shockblast earlier…yeesh, this show seems a tad more demented than I recall..._

Without any indication as to who was there and when, Shockblast fired his deadly beam as soon as he broke the surface. The deadly shot had missed Ironhide (powerlinked with Jetfire) as expected. And Demolisher had come up to greet us. As expected. And thus, the cheesy dialogue commenced:

"Hey ey! You're Shockblast!"

"That's right…boss"

"HUH?!"

"Yeah, at least that's what Megatron tells me"

"Oh oooh okay then!" Demolisher's bright orange orbs snapped onto me "And I see you brought the little lady –uh…" he snapped his fingers "Samantha!". _That was nowhere near my actual name…dear Primus help that poor confused soul…_

"Katherine" I breathed in deeply "My name…is _Katherine_ ". Shockblast sniggered, satisfied that I had some kind of trigger. Fortunately on Demolishers' behalf, I had high tolerance for people with his…intelligence. "And now that we've been _properly_ introduced, may I ask what our game plan is?"

"OOOH OOOOH! I want Shockblast to destroy Optimus Prime!"

"What?!"

I slapped SB's chest "You heard the man! Do what you do best!"

"Hhhmhm guess I can't argue with that" and with no delay, SB shot right up into the sky.

He, or we, didn't find the Autobot leader until the end of the fight. I proved to be a good deterrent from the Autobot leaders' crosshairs, and had even prevented Omega Supreme from ramming into SB, because DAMN that guy had a death-grip on me. However, SB couldn't get too crazy 'shooting-autobots-in-a-barrel' because we eventually had to retreat. As called by Megatron. I had known very well that the autobots had retrieved Inferno. I had also known very well that Megatrons' torture session went according to his plan. Everything seemed to go along with canon, no matter how much I 'changed' things it would merely realign itself. It was okay…it was predictable. Well, that was until we got back to Unicron…

"It seems everything has gone as planned! Good work men!" Megatron congratulated as he sat himself down. I rolled my eyes from where the rest of us stood, bunched in a corner. I was still on SB's shoulder, because as soon as we got back on Unicron, Megatron had made it crystal clear that Shockblast was not to go anywhere without me and vice versa. And since I was told to stay in the throne room, along with everyone else, Shockblast was to remain. "Oh really Megatron? And what has you in such a _good mood_ " SB sneered. Yeah, he really hated his life then and there.

"I was merely relishing our victory. Isn't that right Katherine-"

"I wasn't sleeping!" I jolted up. Shockblast snickered and rolled his shoulder as if to say 'wakey wakey'. The 'trio' joined in as well. I felt myself blush madly.

"Ahaha funny little thing aren't you?" Megatron smiled. I did NOT like that smile "Such a desirable trait for our little pet to have –or rather, our little tool"

 _Who you calling a tool you winged prat!_ "I'm ah, afraid I don't follow you _sir_ "

"I was merely trying to suggest that you knew we'd be successful…am I wrong?"

 _I don't –wait_ I remembered when Megatron had scanned me, the massive techno-tentacles had wrapped around my waist…and my head. My jaw dropped. _No way…_ "You trying to tell me those scans you did…-"

"Oh I remember that! That was kinda scary even for me and I was only watching!" SnowCat scratched the back of his head. It was good to know I wasn't the only one who found that moment terrifying.

"Little girl was scared" Mirage pat me, his giant hand perilously close to Shockblasts' head. And to show he was provoked, the cyclopean shoved the taller bot with his shoulder.

"Back off, I got a personal bubble too ya know". I didn't correct him on how I was well within that 'bubble'.

"Megatron sir, you trying to tell us she can see the future?"

"Something like it Starscream…" Megatron leaned forward challengingly; his burnt-orange optics bored into my dumbfounded amber eyes "something like it"

I blew a lock of my carrot-colored hair out of my face as EVERYONE (including the Terrorcons) eyed me –Shockblast could only pivot his head slightly, but I could tell he listened intently. _Choose your next words carefully-_

"Whelp, I'm not denying anything" _smooth_ I REALLY had wished I would've woke up, though unfortunately, I didn't:

I just sat there like a jackass.

* * *

 **Next chapter will have a POV shift! Until then, please review and (perhaps) tell your friends about this story ;)**

 **I also have a pairing in the works...brownie points for anyone who guesses right!**


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